Yellow Snow

From a Monday CNN press release:

Former White House press secretary Tony Snow will join CNN as a conservative commentator beginning today, it was announced by Jon Klein, president of CNN/U.S. A well-known and respected observer of politics with a longstanding news background, Snow will contribute to CNN as the network continues to broadcast winning political coverage.

Snow most recently served as press secretary to President George W. Bush from April 2006 to September 2007. For 10 years beginning in 1996, he appeared on Fox News Channel, hosting Fox News Sunday, Weekend Live with Tony Snow and other programs. From 2003 to 2006, The Tony Snow Show aired on Fox News Radio.  Before joining Fox, Snow served as a substitute "From the Right" co-host for CNN's Crossfire.

"In the White House, Tony brought a remarkably human touch to the discussion of public policy, which he will continue to do as part of the Best Political Team on Television," Klein said. "He will contribute a unique breadth of political and journalistic expertise to what is already the most provocative and wide-ranging political analysis on the air."

"I'm delighted to be able to join CNN during the most exciting and unpredictable political year in memory," Snow said. "The big challenge in 2008 is to develop deep, creative and aggressive analysis of both political parties, their candidates and campaigns. I'm eager to get started, since this race is sure to shape American politics for years to come."

Top reasons CNN courted Tony Snow to be a "conservative commentator:"

• Conservative commentator Robert Novak now refuses to appear on network unless served human blood, but the orphanage is on to us.
• Lost conservative Pat Buchanan to MSNBC in poorly planned racist exchange program: screwed when MSNBC couldn't find anyone as racist as Pat Buchanan to send back.
• Conservative commentator Lou Dobbs almost done building anti-immigrant wall around CNN headquarters, but needs tall guy to help string barbed wire.
• McCain's campaign trail flip-flops and misstatements proving increasingly hard for media to ignore; calling in a White House expert to show us how it's done.
• "Human touch" needed to help make conservative commenter Glenn Beck look sane.
• Network falling out of cultural balance and needed another white guy: "Snow" sounds about as white as you can get.
• George W. Bush years soon over; asked White House for keepsake to remember him by. We were thinking signed portrait, got back press secretary.
• Along with Jack Cafferty and Larry King, Snow is human component of ancient mythical power source. Once we sign Brit Hume, Vortex of Eternity will open and we will obtain the Amulet of Supreme Whiteyness, allowing us to rule the world, plus discounts at Applebee's.
• Someone needed to balance out flaming liberal firebrand Wolf Blitzer during 2008 campaign season.
• Because shut up, that's why.

Seriously, though, I'm sure he'll be a perfect person to add, quote, "creative and aggressive" analysis of "both political parties" during this election year. The happiest man in America right now? Jon Stewart.