[Throughout the day we will be bringing you breaking coverage of today's 'We Surround Them' event, newsperson Glenn Beck's effort to demonstrate the power of the ultraconservative movement via going out to dinner and sending photographs of yourself to his website.]
URGENT BREAKING UPDATE. MUST CREDIT DAILY KOS: Still not surrounded. Had a soda. Soda not surrounded, but had too much ice.
BREAKING UPDATE TO PREVIOUS UPDATE: I MAY BE SURROUNDED. I REPEAT, I MAY BE SURROU -- No, wait. Turned out to be discarded straw wrapper.
Pictured: logo from Glenn Beck website. Appears to be Glenn Beck explosively farting on Earth's northern hemisphere.
[This has been a 'We Surround Them' update. Keep checking throughout the day for important updates as to the status of whether or not we are surrounded. IGNORE THIS CONSERVATIVE EVENT AT YOUR OWN PERIL]