Daily Kos

Email: hunter@dailykos.com

It's The First Non-Race-Baiting Smear of The Campaign Season! Congratulations, GOP!

Fri Jun 06, 2008 at 06:45:54 AM PDT

Tom Delay, Indicted Republican: Unless he proves me wrong, [Obama] is a Marxist.

Hunter, Blogger: Unless he proves me wrong, Tom Delay lures children into his van with candy, gasses them to death with bug spray, and uses their powdered bones as an aphrodisiac when making love to all the animals at the San Antonio Sea World.

Prove me wrong, pal, prove me wrong.

On a more positive note, I want to congratulate Republicans on finally coming up with one (albeit inexplicable) smear against Obama that isn't just codespeak or awkward polite-company placeholder for "he's black. Scary!" Consider the recent dismal record:

  • Obama has a Kenyan father! (You know what color Kenyans are? Black!) Scary!

  • Obama might secretly be a Muslim! (You know what color Muslims are? Neither do I, but they might be black for all I know!) Scary!

  • Obama's middle name is ethnic sounding! Scary!

  • Obama attends a black church! With black people! Scary!

  • Obama needs to better prove his patriotism! (Waiver of proof granted if you are a white politician.) Scaaaary!

  • Obama needs to prove he understands the middle class, like [insert fabulously wealthy pasty white lawmaker here] undoubtably does. (Because black people might not understand the middle class like rich white people do!) Scary again!

  • Obama can't bowl! (You know who else can't bowl? Terrorists -- I mean, black people!) Super scary!

  • Obama's wife, this one time, possibly was in the same room as Louis Farrakhan's wife! For a women's luncheon! With black people! Scaaaaary! Booga booga booga! Look, I'm holding a flashlight under my face right now! And there, on the handle of the car door, was a hook! Aaaaaagh!

Translation of all of the above: Oh my goodness, this guy might be African American or something. But we can't say that out loud, because it's the freaking twenty first century and we'd look like giant, bigoted jackasses.

So this new Republican opine that he might secretly be a Marxist is a bit of a novelty. Now, I'm not sure if even two in ten Republicans could tell you exactly what a Marxist was, precisely, but at least it's nice, European fearmongering. You still get to make the point that the Democratic candidate for President of the United States might secretly be a traitor to our nation, and way of life, and not really a good wholesome flag-humping patriot at all -- but instead of looking like a hopelessly behind-the-times bigot trying desperately to stay relevant and on the airwaves, you just look like an unfathomably shallow idiot with no grasp of history or politics trying desperately to stay relevant and on the airwaves.

I do think Tom Delay should, you know, read a book or something. At least to pass the time between murdering children and sodomizing sea life.

A Slogan for John McCain

Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 06:45:52 AM PDT

To a Republican, a slogan is not merely a slogan. The slogan is the campaign. A slogan can substitute for actual governance; it can even substitute for the thought expressed by, er, the slogan itself. Case in point: "Compassionate Conservatism". All you have to do is say it; after that, you don't actually need to show any compassion. You've already expressed it in the slogan: you're done.

So it is a bit depressing to see McCain so blatantly ripping off Obama's own slogan, instead of crafting one himself. Obama's slogan was "Change You Can Believe In"; McCain's new version is "A Leader We Can Believe In". Obama's omnipresent logo consists of blue over a hill of red and white; his website has a field of blue over red, with subtle "sunburst" rays in the background. McCain has chosen for his new theme a field of greenish-blue over red and white... with subtle "sunburst" rays in the background...

Hey, it's mavericky, I'll give him that. And I guess somebody's convinced him at his point that green and greenish should be his favorite colors. As a Republican, perhaps it reminds him of money. Perhaps it replaces an environmental policy -- rather than caring about the forests, perhaps we can just paint all our shopping malls a nice forest green and get on with our lives.


But I'm disappointed in McCain's slogan, ripped off or not. A Leader We Can Believe In. I'll grant him that an appeal to leadership is likely to go over well with conservatives -- a hell of a lot better than appeals to, bolt the door and hide the silver, change, shudder -- but it is so dull. So conventional. It lacks creativity, yes, but more to the point it lacks pizzazz. A proper conservative slogan should not just appeal to a wholesome conservative lust for strong centralized leadership, it must also offer assurances that this particular conservative will not fuck things up the way all the other conservatives have. It must appeal to the God-fearing, and the bigoted, and the God-fearingly bigoted (i.e. John Hagee). It must sound inspirational while at the same time recognizing that conservatives are terrified of anything but the status quo -- and waxing inspirational about the status quo is a damn difficult prospect.

So I am chagrined that John McCain has, despite my pleas, not chosen any of my own suggested slogans. I worked very, very hard on them, and knowing that he was a conservative I sent them via the most conservative method of delivery I could find, which is to carve them into stone tablets, tie them to the back of a mule, and walk away, trusting that the rest would eventually work itself out according to free market principles.

Here were my own suggestions. If any of you see that mule, send him McCain's way.


Compassionate Maverickism. Simple and to the point. The compassion part would serve notice that you have no actual interest in compassion and are just getting that part out of the way right off the bat, while the maverickism sounds appropriately rebellious and manly. Since you haven't technically been a maverick in, what, a decade or two, this also would appeal nicely to the sullen longing-for-the-past that conservatism is so continually engaged in.

A Changely Leader For Nonchangelyness. I like this one because nonchangelyness is a fantastic, very Bushian word. Creative half-literacy would resonate well with the Bush base, while the dual messages of change and non-change would satisfy those that recognize the Bush years have truly sucked, but who still cringe at the thought of attempting anything even the slightest bit different. This slogan properly conveys the message of nearly every modern Republican election, which is "yes, I know we screwed things up last time. But this time will be different, because we're going to do exactly the same thing."

McCain: Get The Hell Off My Lawn. People have been concerned about your age and health: the only way to combat this is to respond to it directly. With a slogan like this, people will know you are still vigorous enough to care whether or not people are on your lawn. Your concern about proper lawn care will resonate with the suburban middle class. And your invocation of hell will enliven the religious base, who are very eager to know that there is some class of people, somewhere, who you are willing to consign to hell for the most petty of reasons.

From Iraq To Iran, I've Got The Plan. Anything that rhymes is golden, especially when your core constituency is made up of people whose memories are atrocious enough to have forgotten, well, nearly everything disastrous that's happened the last eight years. Coupling a rhyme with war imagery, though, that's especially good messaging. It says to your opponent, not only am I wholeheartedly for this war, I'm even willing to turn it into a nursery rhyme. Which will come in handy for indoctrinating the young tots who will be fighting the next war -- camouflage onesies will be all the rage.

White And Pasty, '08. If you're going to go for a slogan that can be easily put on a bumper sticker, you're stuck with three or four words max. So you have to make those words count by encapsulating your entire strategy, and by drawing as much distinction between yourself and your opponent as possible. Let's be honest, here: Republicanism is down to pretty much one major constituency, these days. Might as well give them the props they so richly deserve.


Let's face it, John -- in this constant attempt to redefine yourself as the white, dull version of Obama, you're doing yourself a disservice. First you proposed going on a joint field trip to Iraq with Obama -- sortof the warzone equivalent of the buddy system. Then you proposed flying around the country with him in a series of town hall debates, so that he would have about 20,000 less visitors per venue and you could speak to a full set of chairs for a change. Now you're copying not just his slogan, but even the graphic design on his website? Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but you're in danger of making your entire campaign subservient to his. And that's just bad form.

Look, nobody's going to mistake you for the svelte black guy with new ideas -- you needn't worry. You need to focus on all those people that will be swayed by your charming ex-maverick status, your translucent Republican whiteness, your disturbing, Batman-villain grin whenever you've read one of your own punchlines off the teleprompter, and your encyclopedic ability to have, at one moment or another, every possible position on every issue of the last fifty years.

Forget Obama's cheering crowds and inspirational slogans: you must look to appeal to all those people in America who are suspicious of cheering crowds, and positively terrified of inspiration. In this election, those people will be your base.

Tarnishing The Victory

Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 05:00:49 PM PDT

This just strikes me as crass, the morning after a historic day in American politics:

Members of Congress who support Clinton are weighing a joint letter to Senator Barack Obama pressing him to put Clinton on the ticket, a congressional aide confirmed.

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz of Florida has suggested the letter, which would aim to represent the voices of female members of congress and those from swing states and key demographic groups.

What bothers me -- a lot -- is the identity politics of it.  She's worried about the voices of "female members of congress and those from swing states and key demographic groups." Only the women? That's what the Clinton campaign has degraded into, the notion that you don't sufficiently respect those women if you're not willing to give Hillary Clinton, the primary loser, whatever she wants?

Against the first black nominee for the presidency, that's both ironic and profoundly tacky. He is rejecting identity politics, but a small number of prominent Clinton supporters are willing to wallow in it.

I thought the Clinton campaign was just as historic as the Obama campaign, but every time her own supporters reject the premise of perfect equality between the candidates and demand she be treated differently because she is a woman or because her supporters are women, they tarnish both victories.

Clinton has no more right to be Vice President based on her gender than Obama has right to be President based on his race. Those things were -- and this is the historic part -- never the point. They have both become successful through their own actions, their own personal histories, their own inspirational and skilled leadership. This is a day in which both camps should be celebrating the history of their moment, not tossing up whatever last shreds of suspicion and group identity they feel might give them a few more days of momentary advantage.

McCain's Speech

Tue Jun 03, 2008 at 06:11:12 PM PDT

McCain's entire speech, short version:

My fellow Americans, please pay attention to me. Please, please, please. I'm giving this speech because I think I deserve some attention tonight too. I'm not really like Bush. I like horses just fine. I can talk in complete sentences.

Sweet Jesus, just give me a little air time here. I'm begging you.

But then his speech got interrupted by MSNBC, so they could talk about Obama locking the nomination...

Obama Camp Had Votes For Better Deal, But Didn't Press

Sat May 31, 2008 at 07:44:35 PM PDT

MSNBC's Chuck Todd:

Per multiple sources inside the closed Rules and Bylaws Committee lunch, Obama actually had the votes to get a 50-50 delegate split out of Michigan -- but by just a vote or two.

However, it was decided to go with the 69-59 split to win a larger majority. That measure passed 19-8.

Good move. In the end it doesn't matter all that much, and the 19-8 vote was far more palatable to all parties than a very narrow decision would be. He comes out looking magnanimous, the Clinton camp comes out with something to crow about, everybody's much happier.

These folks might just know something about politics after all.

Clinton in VP Slot? Um... Not Likely.

Sat May 31, 2008 at 06:00:05 PM PDT

A few of the TV heads were positing that what Clinton primarily wanted today is something that can give her claims of "winning the popular vote (minus all the other states that don't count)" some degree of legitimacy, which she will then use to leverage Obama into giving her the Vice President slot.

I see absolutely no way that's going to be happening. I keep hearing this theory and frankly, it continues to sound just as ridiculous each time. Even presuming Obama and Clinton still can even stand each other, and even presuming for the moment that we accept the nonsense of "popular vote" calculations that ignore caucus states, Clinton just doesn't bring anything to Obama's ticket.

One of Obama's most vaunted selling points is that he represents a clean break from the past -- a message that is resonating heavily, after eight years of Bush. Choosing a Clinton as Vice President steps squarely on that message of change, and presents a consummate insider ticket (McCain plus somebody) vs. another insider ticket (somebody plus Clinton). I'd have to think it would be a net loss of (a) excitement among Obama voters, (b) prospects among independents, and therefore (c) actual votes in November, compared to many other possible Obama picks.


Even if you did implicitly accept the disenfranchisement (to use a familiar word, today) of the caucus states in counting up your popular vote totals, winning the popular vote plus five dollars will get you a Starbucks coffee. There isn't even such a thing as the "popular vote" in these primaries, since some states don't even count up those votes.

Now, maybe the Clinton camp really is seeking the VP slot (personally, I expect it's being overhyped by the pundits more than either campaign.) More likely, she's just seeking to use this jury-rigged "popular vote" stuff to try to sway superdelegates -- but Obama is so close to having the nomination locked up anyway that it wouldn't do much more than delay the inevitable. She needs too many; he needs a relative handful, in comparison.

If the Clinton campaign has been looking to get anything from today other than a symbolic victory, they'd be really stretching. Though this has been a lot of ill will to sow for a merely symbolic victory.

And yes -- this whole post feels like I'm just stating the transparently obvious. There's been so much "spin" and questionable "momentum" lately, though, it's hard to judge what the heck is obvious anymore. The most infuriating thing about this whole primary process was the insulting nature of much of the campaign spin, apparently all predicated on the premise that the voters (and even superdelegates) would believe pretty much anything you could force out of your own mouth without laughing.

Net Impact

Sat May 31, 2008 at 04:49:12 PM PDT

Yesterday, Obama needed 41 delegate votes to clinch the nomination; Clinton needed 244.

Today, Obama needs 64 votes; Clinton needs 240.5.

There are 291 delegates remaining.

So there ya go.

Committee Deal?

Sat May 31, 2008 at 03:12:24 PM PDT

Committee members filing back in. Rumor has it a deal has been struck; MSNBC's Chuck Todd cites sources for a 69-59 split in Michigan, but with half-votes for each of those delegates.

Which is pretty close to what we all thought it'd be, at the beginning of this mess. We'll see.

Obama Picking Up Republican Donors

Sat May 31, 2008 at 01:27:46 PM PDT

In non-committee-meeting news, McClatchy reports...

Beverly Fanning is among the campaign donors who'll be joining President Bush at a gala at Washington's Ford's Theater Sunday night, but she says that won't dissuade her from her current passion: volunteering for Barack Obama's presidential campaign.

She isn't the only convert. A McClatchy computer analysis, incomplete due to the difficulty matching data from various campaign finance reports, found that hundreds of people who gave at least $200 to Bush's 2004 campaign have donated to Obama.

Among them are Julie Nixon Eisenhower, the granddaughter of the late GOP president Dwight Eisenhower; Connie Ballmer, the wife of Microsoft Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer; Ritchie Scaife, the estranged wife of conservative tycoon Richard Mellon Scaife and boxing promoter Don King.

Many of the donors are likely "moderate Republicans or independents who are dissatisfied with the direction of the country now and are looking for change," said Anthony Corrado, a government professor at Colby College in Maine who specializes in campaign finance.

I do wonder about this, for McCain. It's certainly true that his fundraising has been dampened by generally poor spirits, among Republicans -- but actual party-switching among donors, how much will that impact things? No clue.

More here.

Rules Are For Chumps

Sat May 31, 2008 at 12:43:17 PM PDT

I think for 2012, Californians should unilaterally decide that our state will be worth 5,000 delegates. Sure, it'd be against one piffling party rule, but I fail to see why the voters of California should be disenfranchised by not seating them all.

We're a democracy, so not seating them would be like enabling Hitler.

Also, our delegates will have the power of tagsies, which means that if they touch a delegate from another state while shouting "I AM THE HIGHLANDER", that other delegate has to give them their lunch money. Deal with that, Rules Committee.

Yes, Let's All Talk More About Iraq

Fri May 30, 2008 at 06:23:33 PM PDT

As the week draws towards a close, I would just like to take a quick moment to congratulate John McCain and the Republican Party for doing everything they could this week to focus the public's attention on the Iraq War. I think they are doing wonderfully, and will no doubt win in November if they simply keep doing what they are doing. We are very frightened of this new strategy, which is very clever and working out perfectly.

Let's run down the stories just from the last few days, shall we?

McCain used a picture of himself with a uniformed Gen. David Petraeus in a fundraising drive -- a rather gauche move, and a strict no-no -- and had to apologize for it.

McCain launched a very odd and desperate-sounding initiative to try to somehow goad Obama into visiting Iraq with him as a sort of campaign field trip. But McCain's previous field trips to Iraq have badly damaged what little credibility he has on the subject, so it's not really a good topic for him to begin with. And when McCain, the RNC, and supposedly unaffiliated 527 groups all jumped aboard with the same message and suspiciously near-identical phrasing, it only served to draw attention to the McCain campaign's history of lobbyist and 527 ties -- and possibly illegal coordination between the campaign and outside groups.

Despite his constant assertions of his military expertise, when speaking this week McCain once again proved ignorant of the most basic facts of the war he so avidly supports. He said that we have "drawn down to pre-surge levels": we most pointedly have not, causing the McCain campaign to angrily talk about "nitpicking" the difference between "verb tenses" -- like, say, past, present, future, and imaginary pluperfect. Because McCain wasn't badly misinformed, they assert, he was just talking about the future as if it were the present, or something.

He also claimed places like Mosul are "quiet" -- wrong. The latest suicide bombing was a mere day beforehand.

So when McCain said, in the same breath as those two fabrications that the Iraq War is "succeeding", it only called more attention to the bizarre and misinformed assertions he was using to justify that claim.

To top it all off, he even got dragged into the McClellan story of pro-war administration propaganda efforts. That's an extra-special jackpot edition of Iraq Propaganda Theater, right there.

So please, Republican Party. Please keep talking about Iraq. With every waking breath, if you can manage it. Please fill the pages of our site with your assertions about the Iraq War, and your demands that the nation continue the Iraq War, and most of all your candidate's increasingly imaginary assertions about the basic facts of the Iraq War.

I'm sure it will work out to your favor, and gain you lots and lots of votes come November. Carry on.

Obama +6 in Wisconsin

Fri May 30, 2008 at 01:10:30 PM PDT

SurveyUSA has Obama up by six in Wisconsin:

Obama (D) 48
McCain (R) 42

Undecideds at 10%, MOE 4.1%. They also tested Vice Presidential choices: for McCain, Huckabee is the strongest choice. Edwards is the only VP choice for Obama that doesn't lose points to McCain -- but see Markos' previous warning about reading too much into that.

RNC Chastises Obama For Not Visiting Iraq. Well, They've Got Guts...

Fri May 30, 2008 at 06:45:28 AM PDT

From an RNC press release, we learn that the RNC has apparently started counting how long it's been since Obama has been to Iraq. He was there in 2006, you see, but that's been it, and as the RNC says...

[Obama] displays an arrogant certainty gained on the campaign trail. How would Obama make informed judgments in the future when he has not seen the situation in Iraq since the surge began?

Oh, mercy. Well, I suppose I admire the RNC's willingness to plunge headlong into support for McCain's Iraq trips. I remember well that fateful trip of McCain's, one that apparently left him with no appreciable understanding of who it was we were fighting, or why they were fighting each other, or even that strolling down a mostly-bare marketplace surrounded by a hundred U.S. soldiers and air support is not what any rational human would call "walking freely" through Bagdad.


[Sgt. Matthew Roe / AP]

The merchants at the market McCain toured thought his characterizations of what he had seen bordered on the delusional:

A day after members of an American Congressional delegation led by Senator John McCain pointed to their brief visit to Baghdad’s central market as evidence that the new security plan for the city was working, the merchants there were incredulous about the Americans’ conclusions. [...]

At a news conference shortly after their outing, Mr. McCain, an Arizona Republican, and his three Congressional colleagues described Shorja as a safe, bustling place full of hopeful and warmly welcoming Iraqis — "like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime," offered Representative Mike Pence, an Indiana Republican who was a member of the delegation. [...]

At least 61 people were killed and many more wounded in a three-pronged attack there on Feb. 12 involving two vehicle bombs and a roadside bomb. [...]

In recent weeks, snipers hidden in Shorja’s bazaar have killed several people, merchants and the police say, and gunfights have erupted between militants and the Iraqi security forces in the area.

The move backfired badly here at home and even among military personnel, making McCain into something of a laughingstock for his rosy assessments:

[CNN Reporter Michael Ware:] To suggest that there’s any neighborhood in this city where an American can walk freely is beyond ludicrous. I’d love Sen. McCain to tell me where that neighborhood is and he and I can go for a stroll.

And to think that Gen. David Petraeus travels this city in an unarmed humvee? I mean, in the hour since Sen. McCain’s said this, I’ve spoken to military sources and there was laughter down the line.

And McCain couldn't go back to that market this year, on his most recent "factfinding" trip, because it's now in territory controlled by al Sadr.


So apparently visiting Iraq isn't all that it's cracked up to be, given that every time McCain does it he manages to leave with an impression of the war that is more and more at odds with the reality of whatever it is he's just seen. He's very Bushlike, in that regard -- when he shows up, you'd better damn well show him the Potemkin villages, because that's the part he wants to see.

I've got to hand it to the RNC for continuing the Bush tradition of believing photo ops to be magical things, capable of altering the fabric of reality into whatever it is conservatives need it to be at any given point in time. And perhaps Obama will indeed visit Iraq again before the election. If he does, let's hope he doesn't make as much of a laughingstock of himself as McCain managed to.

Indiana Malkin and the Slightly Scary Neckware of Doom

Wed May 28, 2008 at 08:50:22 AM PDT

I think perhaps the biggest danger facing America today is a new, tubthumping stupidity. Stupidity kills more Americans each year than terrorism, lightning, and bad gravy combined.

Via diarist skralyx and others, when we weren't looking the right wing panic brigades found a new target. Scarves. Dangerous, possibly terrorist-sympathizing... scarves.

Does Dunkin’ Donuts really think its customers could mistake Rachael Ray for a terrorist sympathizer? The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men.

Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin’ Donuts boycott.

So Dunkin' Donuts pulled the ad, for fear that some Americans would be sent into the streets in a pants-wetting panic that someone in a donut ad might be wearing a black and white scarf that looks sortof like something a Palestinian jihadist would be wearing. You know, if it wasn't a scarf but was a headdress. And if it had a different pattern. And if you were mind-rapingly insane to begin with.

Now, what's important to grasp here is that the scarf in question (see link) is rather clearly just a scarf. It is admittedly black and white, which apparently would be symbolic in the Palestinian world, except I'm not sure if something frilly and paisley can ever really count as being as menacing as we are supposed to believe. And there's clearly no pro-terrorist vibe being intended by Dunkin Freaking Donuts -- Ray is holding a latte, which I'm pretty sure is like kryptonite to jihadists. I don't know, I'm not up on all the comic-book-style interpretations of what we should and shouldn't be afraid of these days.

No, the issue was that there was a scarf that looked sortof like something Islamic. That's it. That was enough to dampen pants and blister typing fingers across the great and paranoid conservative nation. Maybe it was a scandalous example of unintended cultural tolerance? Maybe it was a secret message to terrorists that they could count on Dunkin' Donuts to cater their next meeting? Or, maybe, it was just a goddamn scarf.


So this is what we've (well, I say "we", but I mean a small subset of American patriots who, having absolutely no intention of doing anything meaningful for their country that involves getting out of their chairs, spend their days looking for secret terrorist messages in television commercials) been reduced to. We're examining the fashion statements of donut ads and parsing them for hints of surreptitious Islamic culture. We're locked into a mortal combat against those that casually accessorize without remembering that we are at war; we're mere weeks away from probing the hidden alliances of the doilies on our grandmothers' coffee tables.

We are a nation that sees images of Jesus on toast. Admit it; there was absolutely no possibility that we would not eventually devolve to this point.


The most fearsome message of The Fashion Menace is that it has shown, once again, just how absurdly simple it would be for Osama bin Laden to bring America to its knees. It would be trivial; it requires only a rudimentary knowledge of American culture and social weaknesses.

To bring America to its knees, all Bin Laden must do is make his next video while drinking from a can of Coca Cola. The nation would erupt in chaos; Coca Cola sales would vanish into nothingness. In his next video, he could casually munch potato chips; the entire snack industry would collapse. One after another, he could film himself driving an American car; he could insert himself into a Girls Gone Wild video; he could appear next to a caveman, or a gecko, or Captain Crunch; he could enroll in DeVry University. On the day he refinanced his home at new historically low rates, the United States housing market would collapse irretrievably. One by one, he could decimate the entire economic fabric of America merely by association. Not one person in fifty would be willing to buck social trends and still buy Coca Cola if Bin Laden was seen drinking it; our consumer-based economy would be destroyed.

Why stop at scarves, after all? If Islamic militants wished to truly damage America, they should make pants a symbol of their jihad. All of conservative America would immediately go patriotically pantsless, and the collective loss of American appetites would render the entire nation weak and anemic and ripe for takeover.

And heaven help us all if the terrorists ever converted to Christianity. It would be the ultimate battle plan -- from then on, no American would know what to think. No, we should be grateful that as of the moment, they have only commandeered neckwear and Any Possible Thing On The Planet Shaped Even Vaguely Like A Crescent. So long as the battle is confined primarily to abstract shapes and donut ads, we should be fine.

Cavuto Covers Hagee: 41 Seconds Should Do It

Thu May 22, 2008 at 07:45:01 PM PDT

News Hounds reports that Fox News has now covered McCain's "rejection" of Hagee's endorsement. There was 41 seconds of coverage during the Cavuto show.

If you want to play the new board game from Hunter Brothers, tentatively called "Can Fox News Go Forty One Seconds Without Screwing Up The News", good news: they even managed multiple factual error during their mere few sentences of coverage. Cavuto:

Alright. Republican presidential candidate John McCain has rejected the endorsement of that fellow [picture of Hagee on screen]. He's Texas evangelist John Hagee who had been very critical of the Catholic church ah, essentially saying that it was a dying institution and that its followers were lemmings.

Bzzt. Actually, he's been critical of the Catholic Church by calling it "The Great Whore", and asserting it to be in league with the Antichrist. A wee bit different from merely calling people "lemmings."

Also, McCain did not reject Hagee for saying Catholics were tools of the Antichrist. He explicitly did not reject Hagee for that one, had anyone at Fox News been paying the slightest bit of attention. He only rejected Hagee now for another one of his asinine theories, this one being that Hitler was part of God's plan for "hunting" the Jews and driving them back to Israel. For that one, McCain finally pulled the plug -- apparently you can insult Catholics all you want, but once you start into the crazy-ass End Times pseudo-Christian anti-Semitism, then you've finally gone too far. Good to know.


Here's another thought. When Obama had his "pastor problem", he responded with a speech about race in America that was blunt, direct, and according to many a triumph of oratory. Do we think McCain will respond to Hagee with a dramatic speech about religious intolerance in this country? Any guesses on that one?

Bonus points to anyone who sees anyone, on any news program, ask that question, or for that matter who sees any news program devote an entire hour to this denunciation, after nearly coming to profession-wide punditry orgasm over Obama's break with Wright.

McCain Abandons Hagee

Thu May 22, 2008 at 02:55:00 PM PDT

HuffPo, which has been publicizing Pastor John Hagee's bizarre and repeated statements about how Hitler was fulfilling God's plan by "hunting" the Jews and driving them back to Israel:

McCain said in a statement: "Obviously, I find these remarks and others deeply offensive and indefensible, and I repudiate them. I did not know of them before Reverend Hagee's endorsement, and I feel I must reject his endorsement as well."

Hagee also issued a statement saying he was tired of baseless attacks and he was removing himself from any active role in the 2008 campaign.

Color me skeptical about the ultimate veracity of both statements. Hagee can't extricate himself from politics any more than he can extricate himself from his own continually nutty (and offensive) prophecies -- they are both absolutely fundamental to his version of religion; he cannot function without them. And while it is a good thing that McCain is now "rejecting" his endorsement -- one he actively sought out, apparently entirely unaware of Hagee's long legacy of similar statements -- it is quite literally The Least He Could Do.

It's not like Hagee wasn't extraordinarily well known, before this election season, or somehow unvettable. I have Hagee's 2006 book, "Jerusalem Countdown", sitting on my table; it's chock full of insulting statements, dire prophecies and interpretations of Scripture so, shall we say, "unusual" that they bear far more resemblance to the ramblings of a UFO cult than to what many people would call Christianity.

So here are the next questions. Will far-far-right evangelicals, of the sort that want to collect Jews into Israel so as to bring about the Apocalypse, forgive McCain for dumping one of their most prominent preachers under the bus? Will McCain learn anything from this about associating with far-right figures that use religion not just as little more than excuse for their own prejudices and bigotries, but as justification for violence and war? Will the media report McCain's repudiation with even one tenth as much vigor as they obsessed over Obama's "preacher problem"?

I predict the answers to be yes, no, and you've got to be kidding.

The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is, Er... Unfearfulness

Thu May 22, 2008 at 06:54:59 AM PDT

There can be no doubt, now. The election results in MS-01 and other places are clear: the Republicans are in a world of trouble -- even in their own strongholds.

This can only mean that the usual avenues of Republican victory -- finding some imagined threat to the flag and apple pie, and goading all sufficiently gullible GOP believers into a state of panic over it -- are becoming stale. This is remarkable, as the list of threats to America grows with every election cycle: if current trends continue, by the year 2080 the GOP will have launched advertisements blaming the problems of America on every individual American citizen, by name.

Going down the current list of scapegoats to blame for destroying the fabric of America, it is truly surprising how ineffective the Republican message has been:

Muslims: Republicans sought to stoke fear of Muslims here and abroad by conflating them all with terrorists. This did not work: unlike the President of the United States, a passel of hard-right evangelical leaders, and the entire conservative foreign policy apparatus, most Americans were able to tell the difference between the two groups.

Immigrants: If terrorists are bad, and Muslims are bad because they might be terrorists, what other people might be bad? That's right -- other brown people. After years of blaming immigrants for taking American jobs (which is preposterous -- if anything, given the number of American factories relocating overseas in order to find whatever world locations have the cheapest labor, most lax environmental standards, and most lenient governments, it is those nasty foreigners who are not immigrating that are taking our jobs), the Republicans discovered a new reason to hate the same immigrants they always hated: because terrorists might sneak in too. But only on the southern border, not the Canadian border, because everybody knows terrorists hate pine trees.

Flag burners: This one was left on a mere simmer, in recent years. It turns out that there are so many actual problems to deal with, the public just isn't that into solving imaginary ones. And after watching news coverage from the Middle East these past decades, burning a flag is just over. Retro, even.

Homosexuals: While still fashionable in some circles to fear homosexuals and the devastation they might wreak upon the American landscape, this particular fear has been dampened by decades of homosexuals not actually posing a threat. At the same time, recent years have shown both clergymen and congressmen to be far more of a sexual threat to Americans, thus leading most of the public to realize that if they had to live next to a gay couple or a Republican congressman, they'd be nuts not to chose the gay couple.

Polar Bears: You thought global warming was a problem? No! The problem is the damn polar bears, who trick humans into having sympathy for them for, you know, that whole no-longer-having-a-habitat mess. This gambit, too, failed, because while both Republicans and polar bears are heartless killing machines, the bears are still easier to love.


So none of that's working? That's a damn shame, if you're a Republican. If the usual scapegoating isn't working, there's not much else the modern Republican machine has left. For decades now, it has been the practice in every election to offer up random demographic groups or other suddenly discovered terrors in order to deflect public attention from actual issues or actual policy failures. If they don't have that... well, you can already see the panic in Republican eyes.

Fear not, Republicans, I shall help! Here are my own suggestions for things that have not yet been scapegoated, but probably should be. I am sure you will be able to organize a sufficiently fear-based, sanctimoniously outraged national campaign around any of them.

Puppies: Puppies are cute, and as anyone who has ever spent time in the dating scene can tell you, cuteness is a frequent characteristic of things that later turn out to be batshit scary. I have lived at various points in my life around puppies, and they are suspicious as hell. I know of almost nothing else that can intentionally crap all over the living room rug and still be welcome in the house: all across the nation, puppies get away with this on a regular basis. Puppies are also terrible conversationalists, and are probably non-Christian.

The Reaper: We have all heard the admonition: don't fear the reaper. This is hippie-promoted nonsense; the reaper is damn scary, and any decent American should be terrified of him. For starters, he carries a giant sickle around with him. For seconders, he kills you. Even if you're willing to forgive the obsession with farm equipment, or the oddness of wearing an oversized black robe year-round, the "killing you" part should be sufficient reason to be terrified. The Republican Party should launch a campaign to make sure all Americans properly fear the reaper, and at the very least should promise to put him at the top of the terrorist watch list. Remember, guns don't kill people; the reaper does, after you've been riddled with bullets and your bloodcurdling screams have summoned him so that he can cut your soul out of your body with a large blade intended for harvesting grain.

The Metric System: We thought we had won the war against the metric system: we were wrong. My own grade-school daughter came home one day and proudly announced her height not only in inches, but in centimeters: yes, though American adults successfully fought off the menace of universally consistent units of measure decades ago, schools are still teaching this elitist "alternative theory" of measurement to our children. I am quite certain that the Republican Party could get quite a lot of mileage -- or kilometerage, as unpatriotic Europhiles might say -- in promising to protect our children from this dangerous mathematical bilingualism. Our English system of measurement is much better than a European system of measurement, in spite of the morass of inexplicable unit conversion ratios. We are quite happy with the morass, thank you very much: our willingness to not be bound by mere powers of ten shows our resolve in the face of terror.

Mothers Who Let Their Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys: If Republicans are willing to vote against mothers on Mother's Day as mere procedural lark, they should be willing to take on a more substantial menace. Mothers who encourage cowboyism as a career choice do a disservice to their children, as there is very little need for cowboys in today's service-based economy. While Democrats would seek cowboy retraining, Republicans should be able to pin the problem squarely at the source -- poor family values. Every child who dreams of becoming a cowboy is another child who will not dream about becoming something of better use to society, like an investment banker, or energy trader, or closeted homosexual Congressman.

Actual Goats: Have you ever met an actual, real-life goat? There is a reason the term "scapegoat" still remains relevant today: whenever something on a farm is not as is should be, the odds are nine in ten that the blasted goat was responsible. A rope chewed in half? The goat. A tree stripped of bark? The goat. Canvas chewed, leather straps eaten down to the buckles, hoofprint-shaped dents all over the hood of the car? The goat. Did someone sneak onto your computer one evening and purchase a full-sized ocean kayak, which was then delivered to your door a week later, every member of your family denying that they were the one who placed the order? Blame the goat. Goats can stand a towering one hundred centimeters high at the shoulder. Their hooves and tongues are not just prehensile, but posthensile and extrahensile: for any moment in time when you are not looking directly at them, they have opposable thumbs. At least twelve of them. Stop blaming scapegoats for America's problems, and take a cue from rural Americans nationwide: blame the actual goats.

Flag-Burning Polar Bears: The old scapegoats not working, and no new ones are doing the trick? Well, get creative. Combine old, well-loved scapegoats to make new, updated ones. Perhaps polar bears are burning our flags. Perhaps illegal immigrants are sneaking across the border in order to turn our children gay. Perhaps Muslims want to raise your taxes to pay for polar bear abortions -- how would America feel then?


There is nothing more Republican than the ability to take any problem, botch the solution spectacularly, and blame the resulting mess on some group that has little to nothing to do with it. Recognizing that all Republican failures are not actual failures, but cruel sabotage by normal everyday Americans, or by sneaky ethnic people, or clever but evil animals, or devious environmental or biological processes: now that is one of the highest forms of patriotism.

Lieberman Goes The Full Zell

Wed May 21, 2008 at 07:04:57 PM PDT

I have to hand it to Joe Lieberman -- seldom has a man been willing to so publicly void his intellectual bowels in newsprint or to such impressive effect. Lieberman's Wall Street Journal ode to a fictional history of his fictionalized past party goes a long way towards explaining his current psychology; like McCain and the other Republican foreign policy uberhawks whose companionship he now finds solace in, he is not content with merely asserting that dissenting opinions are wrong, but must declare them appeasers and collaborators. Retroactively, if necessary.

Towards this end, Lieberman is willing to redraw history into a Republican talking point, but he does it so badly -- so crudely -- that is comes across as the flashback-riddled rantings of a political Willie Loman. He sees visions of peaceniks and hippies in his head at night; they dance around his bed, preventing the proper dispensation of justice. He sees visions of a modern Democratic Party cowing to "activists", but cannot name any. He paints a history of a Democratic Party plagued by foreign policy weakness, yet recites a litany of Democratic foreign policy strengths to do so.

I will quote at length, only because the devolution of Lieberman's capacity for logic needs to be shown at length to be appreciated.

Beginning in the 1940s, the Democratic Party was forced to confront two of the most dangerous enemies our nation has ever faced: Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union. In response, Democrats under Roosevelt, Truman and Kennedy forged and conducted a foreign policy that was principled, internationalist, strong and successful.

This was the Democratic Party that I grew up in – a party that was unhesitatingly and proudly pro-American, a party that was unafraid to make moral judgments about the world beyond our borders. It was a party that understood that either the American people stood united with free nations and freedom fighters against the forces of totalitarianism, or that we would fall divided. [...]

This worldview began to come apart in the late 1960s, around the war in Vietnam. In its place, a very different view of the world took root in the Democratic Party. Rather than seeing the Cold War as an ideological contest between the free nations of the West and the repressive regimes of the communist world, this rival political philosophy saw America as the aggressor – a morally bankrupt, imperialist power whose militarism and "inordinate fear of communism" represented the real threat to world peace.

It argued that the Soviets and their allies were our enemies not because they were inspired by a totalitarian ideology fundamentally hostile to our way of life, or because they nursed ambitions of global conquest. Rather, the Soviets were our enemy because we had provoked them, because we threatened them, and because we failed to sit down and accord them the respect they deserved. In other words, the Cold War was mostly America's fault.

Lieberman recites a litany of strong foreign policies; then asserts they all collapsed, come Vietnam. But on what Liebermanesque planet did the Democratic Party -- or even substantial forces within the party -- believe the Soviets to have been the good guys of the Cold War? He offers no example, he merely asserts it. "It is argued", he says, but Lieberman and the imaginary 1960s-era hippies cavorting in his cortex are the only ones arguing it. Support for Vietnam is given as proxy for being sufficiently American; whether or not Vietnam was a good idea, or well executed, or resulted in anything but fiasco is entirely beside the point. A true American is willing to support a foreign policy fiasco of historic proportions; dissenters are simply weak.

That's it. That is the entire assertion. Democrats were powerful foreign policy figures throughout WW2 and the Cold War, but then Vietnam came along and some people didn't like it, therefore Democrats were weak.

Then, beginning in the 1980s, a new effort began on the part of some of us in the Democratic Party to reverse these developments, and reclaim our party's lost tradition of principle and strength in the world. Our band of so-called New Democrats was successful sooner than we imagined possible when, in 1992, Bill Clinton and Al Gore were elected. In the Balkans, for example, as President Clinton and his advisers slowly but surely came to recognize that American intervention, and only American intervention, could stop Slobodan Milosevic and his campaign of ethnic slaughter, Democratic attitudes about the use of military force in pursuit of our values and our security began to change.

This happy development continued into the 2000 campaign, when the Democratic candidate – Vice President Gore – championed a freedom-focused foreign policy, confident of America's moral responsibilities in the world, and unafraid to use our military power. He pledged to increase the defense budget by $50 billion more than his Republican opponent – and, to the dismay of the Democratic left, made sure that the party's platform endorsed a national missile defense.

What is impressive here is that Vietnam is given as the sole example of Democratic "appeasement" of enemies. Before then Democrats were strong, and after then Democrats were strong -- Joe gives plenty of examples for both periods -- and Democrats were only "weak" in for the years between because a few unkempt activists had the audacity to disagree with Joe "I am the voice of all Parties" Lieberman about the merits of Vietnam. It is a comical premise -- it is the kind of addled pseudohistory that the hawks of Vietnam have been obsessed with for forty years, on the Republican side; to see it from Lieberman makes me wonder if he caught the contagion from a senatorial toilet seat.

Lieberman does not mention Carter; presumably, he was weak too, for not carpet bombing Iran when he had the chance, or for engaging in a failed military action against Iran that was suspiciously narrow and tactical, instead of one that was overwhelming and bloody and patriotically escalatory. We can only presume Lieberman and McCain, if given the chance, would rectify that error.

Today, less than a decade later, the parties have completely switched positions. The reversal began, like so much else in our time, on September 11, 2001. The attack on America by Islamist terrorists shook President Bush from the foreign policy course he was on. He saw September 11 for what it was: a direct ideological and military attack on us and our way of life. If the Democratic Party had stayed where it was in 2000, America could have confronted the terrorists with unity and strength in the years after 9/11.

Instead a debate soon began within the Democratic Party about how to respond to Mr. Bush. I felt strongly that Democrats should embrace the basic framework the president had advanced for the war on terror as our own, because it was our own. But that was not the choice most Democratic leaders made. When total victory did not come quickly in Iraq, the old voices of partisanship and peace at any price saw an opportunity to reassert themselves. By considering centrism to be collaboration with the enemy – not bin Laden, but Mr. Bush – activists have successfully pulled the Democratic Party further to the left than it has been at any point in the last 20 years.

And there we get to the nub. America was united behind the President immediately after September 11th, near-universal in support for the actions in Afghanistan. But then some (embarrassingly small number of) Democrats took policy exception to Bush's expansion of post-9/11 action into an unrelated war at cross purposes to the first, under the premise that it would be counterproductive and would weaken efforts in Afghanistan and elsewhere in the world, thus playing directly into the hands of extremists seeking that larger war. For that insight, they are apparently leftists. The President bears no burden for shattering the post-9/11 unity of the nation or the post-9/11 international vigor against terrorism with his own badly planned, badly executed, badly premised Rumsfeldian clusterfuck of imagined opportunity for forced U.S. hegemony in the Muslim world; heavens, no. It is all the fault of a passel of hippies and the activists for daring to speak up.


In this, let me be clear, I believe Lieberman to be exposed as the intellectual equal of a worm-riddled, half-composted sack of shit, and am not sorry in the slightest for the comparison. For Lieberman to so willingly conflate any opposition to a war of occupation in Iraq to the appeasement of bin Laden -- essentially asserting as weak and cowardly all Americans who properly called out the ramifications of the Iraq fiasco for what they were, shows him to be a political charlatan, and a buffoon, and a McCarthyite hack besides. For not carrying on the fiction that Iraq has made us safer, he asserts us roundly to be fools or against our own country, so let the tired crank whine about our own language if he dares.

Far too many Democratic leaders have kowtowed to these opinions rather than challenging them. That unfortunately includes Barack Obama, who, contrary to his rhetorical invocations of bipartisan change, has not been willing to stand up to his party's left wing on a single significant national security or international economic issue in this campaign.

In this, Sen. Obama stands in stark contrast to John McCain, who has shown the political courage throughout his career to do what he thinks is right – regardless of its popularity in his party or outside it.

John also understands something else that too many Democrats seem to have become confused about lately – the difference between America's friends and America's enemies.

There are of course times when it makes sense to engage in tough diplomacy with hostile governments. Yet what Mr. Obama has proposed is not selective engagement, but a blanket policy of meeting personally as president, without preconditions, in his first year in office, with the leaders of the most vicious, anti-American regimes on the planet.

Mr. Obama has said that in proposing this, he is following in the footsteps of Reagan and JFK. But Kennedy never met with Castro, and Reagan never met with Khomeini. And can anyone imagine Presidents Kennedy or Reagan sitting down unconditionally with Ahmadinejad or Chavez? I certainly cannot.

While I cannot personally imagine a more maddening fate than to be constantly tormented by the fictional appeasers of Lieberman's war-addled head, I find this whole section to be nearly, but not quite, hilarious. Oh, to be Joe Lieberman, for whom all past events must be packed into the frame of willing militancy or be dismissed.

Reagan did not meet with Khomeini; he did, however, meet with Gorbachev. Are we to presume Reagan was, then, an unpatriotic coward? He is simultaneously credited by conservatives with superhuman powers in ending the Cold War, and recent evidence indicates he did not bomb them into submission -- what are we to make of this? Kennedy never sat down with Castro, but Nixon's talks with China are credited with opening up the communist country to both diplomacy and, eventually, capitalism. Was he too a traitor to his nation? If only Mr. Lieberman could tell us, but he cannot, because for Mr. Lieberman "strength" goes along with supporting his own foreign policy notions, and "weakness" consists of not supporting them, and all history that does not directly speak to his own imagined sense of strength and weakness is discounted -- simply not even mentioned.

As for this notion of "unconditionally" meeting with anyone, it is a Republican talking point, again eagerly swept up by Lieberman in service to our cause. Nobody honestly believes any American president, of either party, will "unconditionally" meet with anyone. It is a half-baked talking point sloughed from the skin of Karl Rove's back.

As for the assertion of McCain as the politically courageous maverick who will no doubt be a compassionate and bipartisan conservative, if elected, let us not even touch that for now. There are too many words here already.


There are another dozen things to mock about Lieberman's column -- deconstructing it would take chapters, not just paragraphs -- but in the end Lieberman's very simplistic and fiction-touting assertions boil down to his own simplistic and fiction-touting notions of foreign policy. Lieberman's true problem (and the one that got him booted from the Democratic Party in his own primary) is that for Lieberman, all foreign policy "seriousness" is dependent on supporting the clusterfuck of Iraq and all related possible clusterfucks in neighboring countries. Not just before the invasion, but during the occupation, during all the "reorganizations" and "surges" and turned corners and imminent successes and plans for goddamned Green Zone theme parks, now and in perpetuity, and now continuing into Iran, and we're not supposed to talk about Pakistan because They Are Our Friends.

If you don't support indefinite action in Iraq, if you don't support the most aggressive of uberhawkish positions in the Middle East, Joe Lieberman will declare you an appeaser, pure and simple. It does not matter what other foreign policy positions you may hold: whether you support action in Afghanistan, or wish to see a non-nuclear North Korea, or what your opinions may be about Sudan or Myanmar or Tibet or Russia or Pakistan or the dozens of other crisis points around the world; for Lieberman, Iraq is all. Support Iraq, or you are not "serious." Support Iraq, or you are an "appeaser."

Here is a man unbalanced by the rage that can only come from a steady stream of human failures. Foreign policy is a simple land, for Joe Lieberman; it steadfastly consists of doing the most aggressive thing at the most aggressive time, and all other options are weak to the point of very nearly being anti-American. And yet as Iraq has shown, such actions can be not just unwise, but catastrophically destructive. For Joe Lieberman, asserting his opponents to be complacent or unpatriotic or appeasers is the only possible rhetorical option remaining, and he lacks the wisdom to leave it unused.

I can think of only one example of recent Democratic appeasement: the way Senator Reid and others have constantly appeased Joe Lieberman, in spite of Lieberman's constant and increasingly rabid attempts to undermine his previous party. As has been amply demonstrated by Joe himself, appeasement does not work.  


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